Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Counting down

It's less than 48 hours until my beta blood results, assuming all goes to plan at the clinic. And I've decided to test at home Saturday morning, before the call from the clinic, so an even shorter time till then.

I'm feeling much more relaxed than at this stage last time. I'm sure partly because I just don't have that much time to think about it all and the possible outcomes - Baby B keeps me pretty busy! Also, I think the 'pressure' is lessened by the mere fact that Baby B exists. I was so, so desperate to be a mother before he was born. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I genuinely didn't know how I would live if I couldn't be a mother (I know I would have done - I just could never picture that life). This time is different, though this baby is wanted and would be loved no less.

Another reason for this apparent calm is an unusual sense of optimism about the outcome. I have never been an optimistic person and certainly not in all things ART-related. I felt hopeful during the cycle that became Baby B, but never exactly optimistic. This time, I feel like it could've worked. And, even whilst typing that, I feel like I'm tempting fate and setting myself up for a fall. But that is how I feel. An increase in (imagined/med-related) symptoms in the last couple of days might be contributing to this new positive outlook. I've had more belly & breast twinges or unusual feelings. Also, (TMI ahead), an increase in CM and a general wet feeling.

I know some of those reading this will be sat shaking their heads in disbelief - after a mantra of 'nothing means anything' throughout my previous cycle, I seem to have become the 'everything means something' girl.

Will this make a difference to the result? No. Is it making these days of waiting a little easier? Yes. Will it mean an even bigger disappointment if the cycle turns out to be unsuccessful? Probably.

12 comments:

  1. I think that once you've been through pregnancy - you have a renewed belief in your body's capabilities... that's probably where the optimism is taking its strength!

    good luck with the beta!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you've hit the nail on the head! Last time I had so little faith in my body to be able to be pregnant. Now I know it can do it - if it gets the chance. China Doll

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thanks for your continued support!

      Delete
  3. Hope it's all going okay! Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've missed you! I've been gone so long and so much has changed since I last read your blog, but I've loved catching up on how you are doing and am so excited to hear your results when you are ready to share. I'm really glad you are feeling a sense of optimism and I truly hope that you get great news very soon.

    ReplyDelete
  5. infertility for easy Conception. (No more adoption, with Dr Itua your problem will solve and you will have your child with ease.I have been blog Sites for a while now and today i felt like i should share my story because i was a victim too. I had endometriosis for 18 years and i never thought i would ever get a cure due to the terrible symptoms i had and this made it impossible for me to get pregnant even after 12 years of marriage and it was a serious issue. I got to know about Dr. Itua on Blog Site who treated someone and the person shared a story of how she got a cure and let her contact details, i contacted Dr. Itua and he actually confirmed it and i decided to give a try too and use his herbal medicine that was how my burden ended completely. My son will be 2 this december and i am gratetful to God and thankful to his medicine too.Dr Itua Can As Well Cure The Following Desease…Cancer,Hiv,Herpes,Epilepsy, Hepatitis B,Liver Inflammatory,Diabetis,Fribroid,Get Your Ex Back, If you have (A just reach his on (drituaherbalcenter@gmail. com Or Whatsapp Number..+2348149277967)He can also advise you on how to handle some marital's issues.He's a good man.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 173免費視訊聊天-免費的裸聊qq
    173免費視訊美女-免費交友裸聊室
    live 173免費視訊-免費同城裸聊平台
    173免費視訊秀-視頻交友真人秀
    免費視訊聊天室友-六間房被禁視頻
    后宮視訊聊天室-哪個app有大尺度直播
    免費影音視訊聊聊天室-允許賣肉的直播平台
    影音視訊聊聊天室-成人的直播平台
    ut聊聊天室-寂寞交友聊天室
    ut影音視訊聊聊天室-午夜聊天室
    免費視頻聊天室哪個好充氣美女娃娃使用視頻色女孩x網色女孩社區都色聊天室成人動畫
    多人視頻交友聊天室性感美女自我安慰視頻美女秀聊天室破解版免費線上成人影片
    同城一夜i情交友群成都交友約炮平台絲襪黨 美女秀聊天室午夜玫瑰聊天室癡漢成人網
    美女熱舞慢搖視頻dj視頻交友直播間平台美女視頻秀聊天室全球成人情色壇論影片
    性愛視頻美女被性侵視頻免費開直播間平台台灣麗人真人視頻全球成人情色論壇

    ReplyDelete
  7. 視頻直播聊天室成人
    國外免費開放聊天室
    免費裸體美女聊天室
    色情美女視頻聊天網站
    美女裸體免費聊天網站
    免費女主播聊天室
    Q臺妹-真人摳逼裸聊
    國外免費開放裸聊室
    免費進入裸聊室
    免費夫妻視頻真人秀
    藍天語音視頻聊天室傾城聊語音視頻聊天室AV天堂影院亞洲黃色網3級愛情片666貼圖區列表
    免費午夜秀視頻聊天室你懂的真人美女主播無碼a片好看的三級小說推薦0204貼圖區
    真人裸聊室成人午夜色情視頻床友約炮網快播成人電影網站綠色激情網百分百貼圖
    真愛旅舍聊天室真愛旅舍聊天室破解真愛旅舍刷點性愛三級片免費三級小說性愛貼圖
    真愛旅舍聊天室官網真愛旅舍視頻破解清純美女影院快播黃色網站成人性愛我就是要貼圖

    ReplyDelete
  8. ol黑絲美女-女性開放聊天室
    街頭挑逗吊帶黑絲 ol-成人免費視訊聊天室
    ol黑絲挑逗-真愛旅舍app
    黑絲美女-台灣色情視訊聊天
    黑絲美女圖片-台灣uu聊天室視頻破解
    爆紅正妹-網絡色情視頻聊天室直播
    正妹牆-台灣真人裸聊視訊app
    正妹空姐-免費真人裸聊qq
    美女圖片一絲不掛-啪啪免費視頻在線觀看
    正妹頻道-免費視頻找女人聊天
    日本美妞私密視頻成人私聊開放性裸體多人聊天室愛寫真美女圖片站美女視訊戀愛ing
    私密視頻美女視頻同城交友東方秀視頻聊天色妹妹成人在線電影歐美色區性愛戀愛物語視訊
    全球隨機視頻網怎麼用視頻演藝聊天室微秀58多人視頻聊天美女裸泳無遮擋圖片情色視訊
    校內隨機視頻網寂寞女免費視頻交友視頻美女裸聊AV快播電影天堂約炮論壇愛戀視訊
    脫衣舞同城交友視頻聊天網寂寞激情直播間真人秀場聊天室黃的言情小說免費閱讀rc色視訊

    ReplyDelete
  9. 水菜麗 寫真-夫妻秀聊天室
    櫻井莉亞寫真圖片-台灣真愛旅舍聊天室
    大槻響寫真-夫妻視訊午夜聊天室
    ol黑絲美女-女性開放聊天室
    街頭挑逗吊帶黑絲 ol-成人免費視訊聊天室
    ol黑絲挑逗-真愛旅舍app
    黑絲美女-台灣色情視訊聊天
    黑絲美女圖片-台灣uu聊天室視頻破解
    爆紅正妹-網絡色情視頻聊天室直播
    正妹牆-台灣真人裸聊視訊app
    台灣色情視訊聊天99泡泡網寂寞同城交友同城約會男女交友網迷你短裙美女ut影音視訊聊聊天室
    夫妻交友的QQ群性吧交友聊天室午夜寂寞聊天室台灣色男色女視頻午夜成人擼片后宮視訊聊天室
    色情夫妻群QQ群真人互動視頻直播社區一對一聊天室魯大媽成人色情小說破解視訊聊天室
    俏女佳人夫妻視頻秀慾望都市視聊網站綠色聊天室女主播寂寞女的聊天電話168視訊聊天室
    後宮電影院午夜聊天室你懂的yy語音視頻互動社區免費成人色情電影網站080視訊聊天室

    ReplyDelete
  10. ivf cost hyderabad Nice Blog thanks for valueble information

    ReplyDelete