Saturday 14 May 2011

At last :)

Despite the trip to crazytown and the lack of positivity in the past few days, it has happened. I got my BFP!!

This morning started out very stressful (I feel so stupid saying this now..). I woke up at 5.30am when my alarm was set for 7. I got to the clinic at 7.10am, not realising that they don't really get going till 8.30, not 8am on Saturdays. So I was first in the queue for my blood test and had lots of time to freak out whilst sitting alone (I hadn't made my Bloke get up to go with me). I had stuck to my plan of not testing, but was now desperate to get home and do that test, whatever news it held.

I basically ran home almost in tears after the test.. my Bloke was awake and asked how I was doing.. bring on the waterworks! After crying and telling him how scared I was, we did the HPT together. Watching that window was the strangest sensation. The control line was clear and dark immediately. Then I thought I saw a test line... my Bloke agreed. We watched it develop and darken over the next couple of minutes, with me repeating 'Crap, crap, crap' over and over again (you wouldn't believe I actually have a great vocabulary, would you?!). By the end of 5 minutes, there was no doubt there were 2 lines. I apologise, but I was intending to post the picture because it's the only BFP I've ever had and I still can't believe it's real. But it won't upload so maybe that's the world's way of telling me that the blog-reading public don't need to see a piece of plastic that I've peed on ;)

After more swearing and hugging, my Bloke and I just looked at each other, stunned. We decided to try and stay calm until the results of the beta came in (here, please interpret 'stay calm' as me watching Glee whilst staring at photo of HPT every other second).

At the clinic, the Doctor confirmed it "You have pregnancy". I pretty much snatched the test results out of her hand:

Beta 1: 176!

She seemed very happy with this, but then came the inevitable China moment. I don't get another beta test for a week! I can't get another till next Saturday! Can you believe that?! This actually prompted me to say the words I'd always sworn not to... "But in the UK and US...". My pleas for an earlier test were ignored. Apparently if the beta were lower then they would repeat it earlier, but as mine is considered good, it's routine to wait a week. I know that's reassuring but still.. I wouldn't mind a bit more reassurance, earlier!

So how am I feeling now? Stunned really. Happy, definitely. I don't think it's sunk in yet. I called to tell my best friend in Shanghai and have yet to tell anyone else. I'll probably tell my Mum this weekend because she knows we should have finished our cycle and I haven't spoken to her for a few weeks, as she's been away. In some ways I wish I hadn't been so open about the cycle with her, as I don't want to get her hopes up too early. I'm still considering bending the truth a little and telling her next week if the 2nd beta is OK. Because I know there is so far to go yet. I know there's so much that could go wrong. Having to wait a week for another beta and then 2 weeks until a 7 week scan will be difficult. But all I can do for now is be happy, hopeful and positive :)

Thanks so much to everyone who posted comments and sent emails saying that you were thinking of me. It really does mean a lot and makes the waiting more bearable and the joy of today even more special. I am thinking of those who are yet to see their own BFP and know how difficult these announcements can be. But I have always (OK, most of the time) taken joy from other's IFers success stories, so I hope this will help more than it hurts. That, at least, is the intention.  xxx

21 comments:

  1. Oh yes! I've been wondering all day!

    Fantastic! I haven't actually read the whole post yet but I wanted to comment straight away!

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  2. I would tell my mum, I don't think I would be able to keep it a secret. When we had our ectopic I told her about 4 days after our first positive test, with a very strong 'lots could go wrong' warning.

    Again, awesome numbers. Sorry about the long wait til the next one but at least you know the worst wait is over. Could you go to another hospital and get a sneaky test done?

    So happy for you :-)

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  3. Fantastic news! I'm so thrilled for you. Crossing my fingers for good numbers next week as well. Must be such a surreal feeling.

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  4. Just read your email...wonderful news. I read a research paper recently about first HCG measurements post ET and it echoed what your clinic said. It's a great number at this stage. Hooray!

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  5. AHHHHHHH!!! I'm so happy for you!!! I've been dying to know your results, and I am soooooo excited for you! I also reiterate that you have the patience of an angel. I can't wait until Monday for my second beta...and that is only a four day wait. I would probably be jailed if they tried to make me wait a week. Enjoy your moment, my dear, and know that I am one of those sick people who woupld love to look at a piece of plastic you peed on (Lord knows you looked at enough of mine), and I am not alone. So if it uploads and you post it, you get no complaints from me. Congratulations, again.

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  6. Yay!!! Congrats! Glad the crazy 2WW is over - of course now another wait begins, but hopefully not so stressful! Wishing you a very uneventful pregnancy.

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  7. YAY!!! I'm so happy for you. That's a great beta number.

    I hear you about waiting a week for a 2nd beta. I had to do the same thing in Korea. The good news was that the repeat beta came with a scan, because by 5 weeks, it's possible to see the sac.

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  8. YIppie!!! I am smiling ear to ear for you guys right now. Amazing, just perfect. I wonder if you will be able to sleep tonight feeling so over the top happy! Congratulations you guys. Praying for a smooth pregnancy!

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  10. Hooray! Congratulations! I just joined your journey, but what a great journey you're on now! I LOVE good news! I'm so ecstatic for you! I'm with princess, I love looking at pee sticks!

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  11. Congratulations!!! I am SO excited for you! (Sorry you have to wait so long for the next beta...is there any way you could just go to some other doctor and request one mid-way through the week?)
    Love,
    Maddy

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  12. What great news and a great number!!! I love "you have pregnancy." Yes you do! Can't wait for further updates, congratulations!!!

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  13. What wonderful news!! Too bad you have to wait a whole week for another beta (for me four days was torture!) but I suppose you can keep using the home tests. Progressively darker lines should give you some comfort until next week!

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  14. Yay!!! Congrats!!!! Celebrate this weekend!!!!

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  15. I'm late to the party....but anyways...CONGRATS!!! WOOHOOO!!! So crazy excited for you!

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  16. I've only just seen your announcement.... CONGRATULATIONS :)) Wonderful news... sooooo excited for you :)) With you every step of the way and love to you always xoxo

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  17. What a wonderful first Beta! You must be so excited!! Congrats!!!

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  18. congratulations! here from lfca.

    (fwiw, my fancy, well-regarded US clinic doesn't do the second beta for a week, either. it's frustrating to wait, but the information is more meaningful with a longer space between the tests.)

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  19. Thanks everyone! I really appreciate all your support and comments.
    @Bionic Baby Mama - good to know other clinics do things this way too :)

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  20. Congratulations! That's wonderful news!

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