Wednesday, 6 April 2011
The dreaded BS..
I'm British and we don't really go in for showers (as far as I know, having been out of the country during just about all my friends' pregnancies!). I've also only recently built a good group of girlfriends overseas so I've been able to dodge the bullet... until now.
My friend who guided me through the mysteries of the Chinese fertility clinic is pregnant - I've mentioned her before.. she went through years of IF, several IUIs and then fell naturally and I've been seething with guilty jealousy ever since :( Of course, we're still friends and I'm finding it easier and easier to spend time with her. But the timing of this shower couldn't be potentially worse. It's at the end of May, just after my birthday and possibly around the end of our 1st IVF cycle.
Sure, if I'm pregnant, it would be great (great doesn't really sum that up,does it!). If not, whether we don't make it to embryo transfer or if we do and get that BFN, it could be horrendous. I know my friend would understand if I explained (though she's probably struggled through several of these events after negative results herself) but I wasn't planning on telling her the dates of this cycle and possibly not about the cycle at all if I can help it - I've decided to keep as much information to myself as possible, apart from family and a couple of friends.
I guess if I accept now, then that is a hopeful gesture and/or also a commitment to be brave and know that I will just need to get through it. (I could also drop out at the last minute if necessary!).
Looks like I'm asking you all for advice again... :)