Well, my new 'Zen' attitude has been truly tested today. I'm just back from my 2nd stimming checkup and the results are:
Estrogen: 686
L: 1.3 x 2, 1.0, 0.8
R: 1.35, 1.2 x 2, 1.1 x 2 (not sure if there are small ones still to grow)
Endo: 8mm
I had hoped for another couple of follies and a slightly thicker endo this time, but I'm taking solace in Miss Mac's
story that these figures could lead to good news down the line. But these numbers aren't the reason for my current deep breaths and need to rant here asap.
Beware... TMI coming up..
There was a different Doc on duty today, but I know her and have found her good in the past. Picture the scene.. or perhaps that's not such a good idea in the circumstances.... I'm in the stirrups waiting for the dildocam. Dr J wheels over in her chair, looks at my lady parts and does a visible double-take.. now in some circumstances I might be happy to get that reaction, but this sure as hell wasn't one of them. She goes ahead with the scan and I'm buoyed by her reeling off the sizes of my follies - sounded like there were more.. yey! Then, as I'm pulling on my underwear she asks if I'm feeling any discomfort in my vagina. Uh, no?! She calmly states that I might have an infection, but they can't check today because it's Sunday and I should ask my regular Doc on Tuesday. Then she wheels away.
Okaaaay... I get dressed and sit with the Doc. I won't repeat the conversation verbatim because I don't want anyone else to experience the frustration that I did. Basically I asked in about 3 different ways why she thinks I have an infection. She didn't attempt to answer my question and just kept saying to come back on Tuesday and ask my regular Doc to check for infection. This was not terribly helpful. I then had to wait for my blood test results during which I made a frantic web search on my phone which did not yield much of use. When I got called back in I asked if my cycle would be cancelled if I had an infection.. Doc said
'Maybe, just maybe'. Great!
So what am I thinking/wondering right now? Random thoughts:
- How the hell could she think I have an infection just from looking at the outside of my bits?! They feel fine and, following a hand mirror inspection on returning home, seem to look perfectly normal (though I can't actually remember the last time I had a good look at them, so can't be 100% sure). My only thought here is that she spotted some CM.. it has been increasing over the last couple of days due to my increasing estrogen levels.. sometimes it is a bit cloudy-looking (well, I did warn you TMI!). Could she have mistaken it for a yeast infection?! Surely Chinese girls have CM too?!
- She can't be that worried if she wants me to wait until Tuesday to go back in.
- I'm continuing on exactly the same meds so, again, she can't be that worried.
- I'm not feeling anything different down there but have got a few twinges in my belly which I put down to my ovaries expanding and, from what I've read, that is perfectly normal.
- I'm also trying to reassure myself that it is unlikely any infection, if there is one, is serious or life-threatening. The most likely outcome would be to cancel this cycle and treat the infection. However, my friend here IRL was about to have an FET last week when she was told she had an infection which may or may not be cervical cancer. (Don't even get me started on the heartless way her Doctor gave her this news...). When I spoke to her on Friday she'd been running from hospital to hospital with a translator to get test after test. I don't yet know the outcome of these tests. In all likelihood we're both completely fine and have nothing some antibiotics won't fix, but what are the odds of this happening to us both in the space of a week?!
Sorry the melodrama took over a little bit there. My brain started running down those 'what-if' paths again. I'm reining my imagination back in and trying to work out how to stop obsessing over this for the next 48 hours until I get an answer one way or the other...
