Sunday, 23 January 2011

IVF... here we come!

Well my period arrived on Saturday.. 16dpiui, which is exactly when it arrived after our other 2 IUIs, so it shouldn't have been a surprise really! And it wasn't, although I was hanging onto the hope that it wouldn't appear until the very last minute... which was another 'morning dream' early Saturday when the stomach cramps must have been influencing my subconscious and I dreamt that I'd started.

I was sad and had a little cry on my bloke and he said all the right things which helped. Then we went out with a 'new' friend and her husband on Saturday night and I had a couple of glasses of wine (and a couple of vodkas.. and a couple of free shots from the barman ;o). It was just what I needed, though I'm going to stay off the booze as much as possible in the next few months ready for the next step..

Which is IVF, or maybe ICSI depending on what the clinic think. It always looked likely that we would need this treatment and I've been mentally preparing myself for it throughout the lap/hyst and IUIs. And I think I'm ready.. I'd planned to go to the clinic this week and see what the next steps are. We go on holiday on Saturday night for 12 days over Chinese New Year and I thought it would be good to get any blood tests done beforehand.

But now I find myself hesitating.. Maybe I won't go to the clinic today. Maybe I won't go before we leave for our holiday. Maybe I need to take a break.. It's stupid. After so long TTC and feeling out of control, I always feel better when I'm 'doing something', when I'm taking back control. And I know that I'll kick myself if I wait until mid-Feb to go to the clinic and then find out that the blood tests take a month or some stupid amount of time to come back. So maybe I'll go today...

2 comments:

  1. It's weird that you are hesitant to get started, as I have decided to postpone things for a month. I have way too much on at the moment and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed.

    Talking a break may be a good idea - you've just spent a year on IUI. Have a lunar new year break and come back fresh.

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  2. Gosh, it's strange when it finally happens isn't it. It's good you have 12 days away from it all after the year you've had to take stock.
    I felt the same way, desperate to start but so nervous and tired I would have liked an extra week to enjoy a NY break etc but AF came on NYE and then actually starting brought another wave of relief which I hadn't expected.

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