What does it mean?!

I'm now on CD25 and day 6 of downregging meds. The injection drama is over.. now just a little stinging during the shot which is new, but no problem.  And I'm still pretty much symptom-free, apart from a dry throat and slightly drier skin. My natural pessimist has been popping her head up and suggesting that maybe the drugs aren't working because I'm not really feeling anything but I've been telling her to pull her  head in and shut up... because, for the first time in so long, I feel positive. Actually positive. And cheerful. Strangely high in fact.

So what does this mean? Is the Decapeptyl actually making me feel better?!  Not a side-effect I'm familiar with...  Am I just ridiculously over-excited to have started this IVF cycle after waiting what seems like such a long time (though I know, in the big scheme of things, we've got here pretty quickly). Have I kidded myself that our odds are better than they really are?!

I don't know and I don't really care. Yesterday after my acupuncture session with Dr F, we were discussing my current warm, fuzziness and he said 'This cycle is going to be awesome' (did I mention he's from California?!) 'and then you can name the little guy after me!'


And, apart from thinking that Dr F is kind of a weird name for a baby, I thought about it... a baby, with a name and a pushchair and me pushing it and it felt great. I didn't get emotional, my eyes didn't well up (my usual response to such an image) and I thought 'Why not?!... Why not me?  Why not this time?'

Of course, I still know the odds and I still know there's a better chance of it not working this time than it working. But I'm allowing myself to think positive for the first time, possibly since we began this IF journey, and it feels good :)

* Please do not hold this post against me when the drugs kick in and I'm sobbing on your virtual shoulders in the coming weeks ;)