So, just to let you guys know what happened after my What should I do?! freakout. As I commented, I opted not to call her and wait and see. I saw her as soon as I arrived at the event on Saturday morning (a family event by the way) and went over immediately to say hello. And yes, she's pregnant (again). Don't particularly like the way she told me, but she doesn't know what's going on with us really, so can't complain too much. I think I was pretty convincing in my congratulations and the type of occasion gave us no time to get into a serious conversation - I think I managed to turn and greet someone else and then walk away before she actually had chance to ask me anything at all!
I also managed to congratulate her husband and tell my bloke about the pregnancy rather cheerfully. Oh, except she's clearly told her husband about us trying to conceive. He very pointedly looked at my belly before telling me how lovely I looked... I'd deliberately worn my slinkiest sweater dress so it would be clear that I'm not pregnant :)
My only weak moments were when my bloke rubbed the small of my back as we were standing with friends..it's bringing a tear to my eye even now, because I know that he gets how hard it was for me and that's progress for him :)
Anyway, I chose not to think about her pregnancies whilst we were out and I've not really thought about it since. I think I've accepted that, whatever happens with us, people are going to keep getting pregnant and having babies. It's never going to be easy, at least whilst we're still in this limbo, but I think I'm learning to cope with it.
That said, I did have a little cry on my bloke last night after seeing my previously infertile friend's 6 month bump. She conceived naturally after lots of years of TTC and IUIs and, for some reason, I'm still struggling with her pregnancy. But hey, nobody's perfect right?!
It is hard o hear about and see that bump. How great that your bloke recognize this, it's so important for understanding.
ReplyDeleteSo, she got pregnant 'au naturel' after years of trying! Interesting, I have kind of giving up on that but you never know right.
Well, you expected the worst, it was the worst, and you got through it, so at least you know your strength, right? My SIL is expecting her second any day now, and I think one of my blackest moments was when I was suspecting it was going to happen and then it did.
ReplyDeleteIt's weird which pregnancies affect us the most. I sometimes think that when one of us infertiles gets pregnant it's almost harder than with 'other' people. I'm happy for them, of course, and more hopeful for myself, but I do often have a 'when is it my turn!' moment.
You were very brave to make it through with only one weak moment... your husband sounds like he really understands. I find it so hard to hear about/see friends pregnant, so know how you feel and often come away crying. It will be all our turn to have a bub one day too xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. Those pregnancy announcements are the WORST!
ReplyDeleteI am so impressed that you have come to such a place of acceptance about other people's pregnancy. I wish I could we half as good about it. Your mention of struggling with your infertility friend's pregnancy really struck me...as I have the same situation...an infertility friend who got pregnant naturally after everything else didn't work for her...and how hard it is to watch her pregnancy progress. I'm not sure why. It just is. It's nice to know I am not alone.
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