Friday, 4 March 2011

TMI

When did it become OK for me to share the most intimate details of my most intimate body parts with a man I've only known for 2 hours?... well, apart from those university days when a few pints of cider occasionally had that effect, but that's another post...

I found myself in this position during my second acupuncture appointment with Dr F. Luckily there were no tears this time! The appointment started with a review of my week, including a look at my new BBT chart. I was a bit gutted last week when Dr F asked me to begin charting again. I stopped doing it about 6 months ago because it never seemed to show anything clearly and none of the Drs I'd seen had ever shown the slightest interest in my charts, so I figured it was one fertility obsession I could live without. But apparently it's useful for TCM, so I dug out the thermometer, printed off some charts and started again.

Anyway, we reviewed my temperatures and starting talking ovulation days, which inevitably led us to talking CM - cervical mucus, and the quest for that vag gold.* I explained how my temperatures (and out of date OPTs) didn't seem to be matching up with my CM. This started a somewhat detailed discussion of the precise consistency of my CM... was it egg-white or more slippery? Sticky, stretchy or watery? Because, contrary to my beliefs, apparently egg-white days are not peak sperm insertion time, for that we need a more slippery texture (isn't egg white slippery?!). As we debated back and forth whether what I call egg-white, Dr F calls slippery, there was this classic comment:

Dr F: Well, obviously I don't have personal experience of this, but I've seen videos...

Really?! Videos, eh! I wonder exactly what kind of videos he's been watching?  And even if they are legitimate, can you imagine being the women who film their CM for these vital, instructional tools?! Now I thought that measuring my nipples would get strange looks from my bloke, but keeping a video camera in the bathroom to record all the nuances of my CM would likely tip him over the edge. Do these women narrate the videos? Do they have to demonstrate the stickiness/stretchiness/slippiness for the camera? This might make the filming quite difficult, so maybe it's a 2 person job?..

The rest of the appointment continued without incident - at least this time I was suppressing giggles, rather than tears :)


*this is where I read that fabulous term.. not sure which post it originated from.

10 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh - this is hilarious. Yes seriously wondering what kind of videos those would be!

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  2. I take my hat off to you! - I think I would have fallen through a 10 foot hole in the floor...xxxx

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  3. How funny :))... love your stories xoxo

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  4. Although Dr F is American, I think being in China has numbed me a bit to privacy and oversharing!

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  5. I guess there's never TMI at those kinds of appointments! Funny comment, and maybe you didn't need to know that..

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  6. So funny! I want to laugh and throw-up at the same time at the thought of such videos. Next time the Prince is giving me a tough time about talking about CM, I'm going to tell him about this post and tell him that at least I don't make him watch CM videos.

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  7. Okay. So after already responding to your post, I couldn't get this out of my head so I Googled "cervical mucous videos." Way too many results, but this one takes the cake I think. Although it only shows pictures, I wanted to throw up...and I talk about CM all the time in my IF world. For anyone else who has to taste the smelly milk to see if it is spoiled...enjoy this video!

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  8. Seriously?!? This is one to add to the "strange conversations regarding infertility" list!

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  9. OK, Princess.. you're braver than me for Googling that! Can't see your link in your comment so might have to try it myself!

    Miss Mac - yes, seriously! I know... and is it weird that it barely even seems weird any more?!

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