Friday, 1 July 2011
A forgotten gift...
This gift has been waiting patiently for a while now. It was bought by a friend who knows about our struggles and our treatment. This friend has been through so much more than I have or hope I ever will, but her story is not mine to tell - I will just say that, at the age of 42 she conceived naturally and now has a beautiful 1 year old baby girl, after being told at the age of 17 that she would never have her own child. She bought a twin pack of Sophies when she was replacing her daughter's much-loved one that had been lost. She told me that the 2nd one was for me and my baby, whenever he/she arrived.
At the time, I didn't know how to feel. Part of me was almost arrogant, taking a 'What does she know?' approach - how can she know that we will ever have the miracle that she was granted? Another part of me was so grateful - grateful that someone had the hope and faith that I was struggling to get hold of and generally failing to hang on to. I think that gift was the moment when I genuinely did start to hope and to believe that this could happen for us. There's no rationality or logic in hope and her faith helped me make the change from 'Why is this IF happening to me?' to 'Why shouldn't I be one of the 'lucky' ones?' (Strange how 'lucky' now involves success after years of tests and several rounds of treatment!).
My friend doesn't 'officially' know our good news yet, though she has a pretty good idea from a couple of clues here and there. I'm looking forward to being able to tell her in a couple of weeks and to accepting my first baby gift with love and gratitude.